I saw her lifeless body in the chair, head cocked to one side as if she was sleeping peacefully. The way she sat so restful and contented made me question why I was there. My gut ached and the tears started. She was wearing a pink flannel nightgown and had a blanket covering her knees and lower legs. What the hell happened? Mom was sobbing uncontrollably and the police and ambulance attendants were talking in the other room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Mom hadn’t heard from my sister in a couple of days which was unusual. She couldn’t reach her on the phone. She went to the apartment to check and make sure all was OK. How could life ever prepare mom for what she was about to find? I got the call immediately. “Patty is dead. “She’s not breathing. Come. Quick!”
“Oh my God! What?” I asked again, not wanting to hear it again, just hoping I missed something. I got right in the car leaving my kids with instructions but not giving any details. The drive into the city was endless and horrible thoughts filled my mind; was she murdered, did someone hurt her or did it finally break and destroy my sister?
When she was 16, Patty had several seizures and was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. It was right in the core of her brain. It was inoperable. She had chemo and radiation therapy and had a shunt implanted to drain the fluid. She lost her hearing from the treatments. Her hair never grew back on the sides of her head which wasn’t too noticeable except on windy days.
Life was tough for Patty. She finished high school and wanted to work but she lost her short term memory and couldn’t retain much information. The doctors had said she wouldn’t live an independent full life. She showed them. As an adult she moved to her own apartment and became self sufficient.
Patty loved my kids but only one at a time. She’d come out and visit waiting to go back home to her quiet space and cat. She never married or had kids and said it was just the way she liked it.
The knock at the door startled everyone. Patty’s doctor walked in not at all surprised at what she saw. It was another seizure that had blocked the shunt. This time there were no operations or treatments that could make her better. This was it. What a waste. Life just gone.
We think and talk of Patty often. She was a big part of my kids’ lives. They loved her and our memories remain fresh. Mom still has a hard time. I don’t think she will ever get over what she experienced that horrific day in January.
